wanted to blog about my first day at work but i'm just feeling lazy. so i'll keep that till next time. a few issues today. but still a long post. sorry

first, let me talk about the song "Tong Hua". i downloaded and watched the MTV video of it. it's so sweet. the video opens with this guy (guan liang) moving out a grand piano. he fiddles with his handphone and puts it on the piano. he plays the intro of the song. flashback to the time when he was practicing the song at his girlfriend's place and she was helping him with the song. flashback to the happy times he spent with her. one scene where she's crying over some tv jap drama (they kiss until she gets nosebleed), another when they're playing together, having fun, helping her move house. scene of a truck on the highway. then a scene where he brings her to the concert hall to see him rehearse. she collapses. he rushes her to hospital. (every now and then it flashes to present when he's performing) the girlfriend has some incurable disease of some sort, now put on respirator. sob sob sad sad etc. he unspeakingly promises to be with her no matter what. he has to go, the girlfriend tells him something. he passes her a handphone. flash to when he's singing. flash to the present when the girlfriend is in hospital, listening to him performing throught the handphone. (this is the sweetest) she listens until the end. she tells him jiayou. then her eyes close. the music pauses. hear the dripping of the intravenous thing. then music starts again. he sings the song again, remembering all the happy times together. flash to the nurses and doctors wheeling the bed down the hospital corridor. music and singing fades off. piano wheeled off stage. scene of the truck on the highway. scene of girlfriend telling him, even if the whole world ignores her, only he cannot do that to her. *g*

here's the lyrics in english
I have forgotten how long was it,
Since I last heard you,
Telling me your favorite story,
I have been thinking for a very long time,
I’m beginning to feel paranoid,
Did I make any mistakes again?

#You came and tell me with the tears in your eyes,
That fairytales are all lies,
It’s impossible for me to be your prince charming,
Maybe you will not understand,
After the moment when you said you loved me,
The stars in my sky, are beginning to shine and shimmer.

*I’m willing to (want to/will) be, the angel you love,
In the fairytales,
Open my arms wide,
And let it become wings, to protect you,
You have to believe,
Believe that we will be like the fairytale,
With happiness and joy as the ending.

Everything is our beautiful ending.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ next, i just watched "touched by an angel", which is one of my all time favourite shows. i only just realised that it's showing on saturday mornings. i only caught the last half hour of today's episode but it was so meaningful. talking about love. how people take love for granted or a afraid to fall in love. they showed four couples in a restaurant. all these couples apparently had problems in their relationship with each other. the angels intervened and they came to realise what true love actually is. like tess said "falling in love is about giving up control and surrendering to something higher". and humans are afraid to do that. we are frightened to be out of control. maybe because we just don't like to feel vulnerable and helpless. the sweetest couple was an old couple, getting ready to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. angel of death andrew came and told them, one of them will go home to god before that. later on, each of them approached him seperatly and asked him to let the spouse live cos he/she has so much to live for and would be happy. the two of them were willing to die for each other. (of course, they didn't show exactly who died in the end) but it was this realisation that things would not last forever that made the couples realise what true love actually is. *sigh*
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next, i was reading in today's papers about teenage promiscuity and sexuality. i've personally met someone like that. (sort of. i can't figure if he's for real or if he's kidding me. he didn't tell me though. he told my friend C and she warned me about him.) my ex-colleague J said that sometimes, when he's got problems and feels depressed etc, he'll go to geylang and look for a girl and have sex. and he does it often. and there's the fact that he actually told C, whom he knew for less than an hour. he freaks me out actually. i barely knew him and he suddenly came and asked me what i like doing in the evenings. now when a guy you first saw the day before and don't even know his name, comes up and asks that, you'll be freaked out too. then he asked for my number and a photo of myself. *shock* i think that's why C found it necessary to warn me about him. i haven't contacted him since i left the company. another guy K, used to tell me about the great times he has with his girlfriend when they do sex. (but K's not the focus of this)

based on my few experiences, i think that teens who actually go looking for sex are somehow troubled. take J. i can tell straight away that he's really insecure about himself. firstly, he looks like the clean, straight guy, but he wears an earring. (ok, that means nothing) next, he's telling two totally stranger girls about his personal history and asking what they like to do in the evenings. (what da heck?!) lastly, he doesn't carry his bag like a normal guy would do. he hugs his bag. in the office, on the mrt, everywhere. it's a backpack but he hugs it like ... don't know. but it makes it seem like he's insecure. and i feel like he's going out and looking for sex to make him feel good. make him feel secure. i mean, people have different methods of feeling secure. someone i know liked to spin tall tales of her being a witch and having romantic candlelight dinners with guys. it makes people around them 'respect' them. sort of like, hey, i've done this and that that you've never done so you look up to me.

but i'm not here to tell my theories of why teenagers do sex. i wanna mention about the chastity and abstinence thing. the paper claimed that it's a difficult thing to do these days. i think that's crazy. it's the easiest thing to do. (keeping in mind that i haven't been tested yet) i guess people say it's hard because of the society and culture we live in. it's so liberal. celebs and all are flaunting their sexuality every right and left. teens are impressionable. they see their idols doing it and they think that it's ok too. look at britney spears. (one of my all time most hated celebs) remember her ridiculous "i am a virgin" act? i mean, maybe it was true back then but it definately quickly became a joke. what a slut. but, on the other hand, there are idols also that try to abstain. my current fav idol, clay aiken. he has said that he will not sing about sex or drugs and strives to uphold a clean image. yes, he's still a virgin. he's saving himself for his wedding night. it's nice to know that in this world, there's still people to look up to. so is it really that hard to abstain?

back when i was in sec 1 i signed up the "true love waits" programme. (and i think that's a better title than "no apologies") since then, i've come up with my own ideas of why teens should wait. firstly, think of the body like a present. let's say you wanna give the person you love a present. you'd try to get something spanking new and nice right? you wouldn't want to give your darling something second hand right? same thing. next thing, true love waits. if the guy refuses to wait for marriage, it means it's not true love, cos apparently he's so eager to get the sex, most probably he's only in it for the sex, so why bother having sex cos the relationship will only break up in the end. if it's true love, the guy will wait cos he knows that in the end, you'll be together, he's in the relationship for more reasons than merely sex.